Monday, March 30, 2009

A new chapter

We will not be having an addition to our earthly family. Although the outcome is not ideal from our worldly perspective, we are honored to know that we now have a spirit that is waiting for us on the other side.

It was/is bittersweet.

Does it hurt? Yes; words cannot begin to describe the physical and emotional pain.

I am sad, but I am not angry. I can't be.

Long before this spirit was conceived, I knew some thing would be a different. I am glad my Father in Heaven had sent me promptings that something would happen. Of course I didn't have details, but that is part of His plan. If He revealed all details, we would never need to gain a testimony.

Faith is born when we put ourselves out there and do not have a single expectation of gaining anything in return. Faith is strengthened when we continue to follow His teachings, despite the circumstances and final outcome. My ability to survive through this ugly storm is not the result of chance or luck, it is my faith in Him and His craftsmanship. It is through Him that I will be able to bask in His glory someday, with my entire family by my side.

I know He still loves me. Although I was not granted the opportunity to raise this boy on earth, my story does not end.

A new chapter has begun.

18 comments:

Liz said...

I am so sorry for your loss....we lost our third baby early in my pregnancy and I understand your pain and disappointment...I'm praying for the Lord to wrap his arms around you right now.
Liz

kelly said...

That is a wonderful attitude and perspective to have.

Katrina said...

I'm glad you're able to reflect with maturity at this point. We don't know it all, and I'm sure that there will be a lot of surprises on the other side.

You've got patience girlfriend, and lots of love wafting your way from those who want to rejoice with you and comfort you when it's not what we all wanted. Hang in there sweetie.

Meet the Dubreuils said...

Oh Julia, I am so sorry. We send all our love your way. We'll keep you in our prayers.
Sandra and Family

Reggs said...

...and in this new chapter, know that you are loved. You are also admired for being so graceful in the face of bad news and seemingly never having "the moment" of shaking your fist heavenward.

Love you, Juuuuulia.

Danika said...

I am so sorry & so sad. Thank you for your inspiring words of faith & hope in amidst your grief & pain. I am sending lots of hugs your way...

Older and Wisor said...

We are so sorry for you...and yet not devastated if it means that a baby that would have had a lifetime of struggles went straight to Jesus. What a wonderful reunion awaits on the other side. May the Lord comfort you in dealing with things on "this side."

Meredith said...

I understand how you are feeling and you are truly so brave for writing about it so eloquently. Hugs to you and your cute family.

Amanda fair said...

i am sorry doll! what a wonderful outlook you have, what a blessing! hugs!

Rebecca said...

I am so honored to have been a part of sharing this experience with you and seeing you come through this with a great attitude as well as great faith! As much as this will sound weird to others who will read this I feel blessed to have been a part of this and you allowing me to take part. Love you Julia!

Anonymous said...

We are sorry for your loss but there is much hope given to others as they read your words of faith and hope. We never know how or when the Lord will need us as a spokes person OR to be an answer to others prayers. May the experiences you have continue to bless others that you come in contact with. Continue with strength as the Lord gives you experiences to grow together as a family! Let us know what we can do to help. Remember you are loved!

Love, MOM

Stricker Family said...

You are an amazing woman you know that? I love hearing how God is working in people's lives. Not only has he helped you through this already but he has given you the ability to see it through his light. I am praying for God's continuing love and encouragement.

Sierra Wisor said...

Yes, but the baby went straight to heaven instead of having to have a hard(er) life than he should have.

Jenn said...

Thanks for sharing this.

Abbey said...

We're so sorry for you guys Julia. You sound so strong and thank you for your words, they make our trials seem easier. If you need to come paint to work through it you just let me know!

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

that is absolutley the cutest picture on your blog header...Love it!

I would love for you to stop by my blog. I am a new blogger, that has a lot to learn. This is my second month in the world of BLOG. I have a great give away this month. This drawing will be the last day of April. Just leave a comment and you are in the drawing.
This NEW blogger was so touched by all the comments I received on the Blog Party (over 300). I have decided to make this a monthly GIFT... I so loved reading every comment.
In May, there will be some fun blogs coming from Disney World. I hope to blog every night, in case you like a good trip report. There will also be a Disney giveaway. I am so thankful for all my new friends.

sandi said...

I'm terribly sad for your loss. I know your own strength and the Lord will help you through this time. You are in our prayers! Love Rubows!

April Cavanaugh said...

Julia, I can't tell you how sad I am for your loss. I give every year to the angel babies program at hospice here locally because I know that there are women and families out there that are struggling with this kind of devastating loss. But my heart is also filled with joy to see that you know your Father's love and know who to turn to in the midst of this "total craziness." I love you. Hugs!