Monday, February 16, 2009

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This week, the boys did not follow me around the house, saying Mom.Mom.Mom like a broken record. Clearly any response and acknowledgment I gave was not satisfactory enough because they continued. I did not reply, "Mommy is not here right now... try again later!" just to get them to say something different.

Our boys do not play with their food during meals.

A huge palm tree frawn did not fall 7 feet and land on my leg, right above my ankle. Why would it? This woman does not do 80% of the yard work and palm tree trimming, so clearly I would not be subject to such a battle wound. It's a good thing I chose to wear socks and shoes and not flip-flops.

I did not get all worked up over a comment a guy made in one of my classes. He (a guy who claims to work with special needs children) did not publicly announce his ignorance when he stated that autism is nothing more than just "a learned behavior."

The two older boys were not wrestling after they were instructed to stop. G did not go face-first into N's knee and bust his lip. He did not grab his mouth and come running to the kitchen. In route he did not touch the cream-colored sectional with his fingers, which were of course not bloody. [In case you're wondering who in their right mind has a cream-colored couch in a home that houses 4 small children (and boys at that), I would not know. Surely, it is not us!]

This was not our house during baths/showers.

I have not listened to Third Day's Revelation CD thirty something times already. G's favorite is not #13.

The laundry pile has not managed to find its way back into an overflowing basket, sitting oh-so-comfortably on our bedroom floor. Did it not understand that once I put it away on Wednesday, it needed to wait at least another week before reemerging?

While I was putting the last batch of cookies on the cookie sheet, Z did not dump the entire 2.5 pound bag of raisins on the floor. His older brother did not walk across the couch and smoosh some of the raisins into the cream-colored couch (which we do not have) as I was trying to rescue the raisins. Oh, the 2.5 pounds of rescued raisins.... they did not get put back into the bag, and surely they did not wind up back in the pantry.

Our pillows were not used to build a secret clubhouse.

I did not say, "You can pick your nose" after getting asked what fun things there was to do. N did not quickly shove his finger up his nostril and ask, "You mean like this?"

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Why children need a mother AND a father

This boy's mother would not allow him to go outside looking like this.

His father willingly took this boy (still wearing this ensemble) out into public.

Mom: Aren't you going to make him change first?
Dad: No. Do I need to?
Mom: Have you seen what he's wearing?
Dad: Yah! Do I really need to have him change? We're only going to Costco.


A father doesn't wear gloves before retrieving a flour tortilla, 5" Batman figurine, and a rubber bouncy ball from the toilet.

What a nice daddy our boys have.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This is not a knee-deep pile of clean laundry that has been sitting on our bedroom floor for days and days. This pile is not growing exponentially, as if to scream "fold me already!" In this pile of laundry (that's not mine) is a bunch of nursing bras that I do not still wear. Z hasn't nursed since July so wearing them would indicate that I'm too lazy to pack them away, and surely I am not that lazy.

My husband and his friend are grown men and know right from wrong. That being said, one night after playing laser tag, they did not willingly eat pizza that was leftover at an abandoned table. They were not too cheap to buy their own pizza. My husband does not eat food that is not his, and he does not enjoy eating leftovers. Nope, not him.

Our backyard is
not still in the work-in-progress stage. It is not a big uneven mess. And I did not encourage the boys to go see what they could find in the dirt so I could have a few moments of silence.

(In case you're wondering, Z is not like his Mommy and does not go crazy if dirt gets on his feet.)

I did
not get my booty kicked in Yahtzee by a 5-year-old boy, two times!

I was in need of more long-sleeved shirts I could wear to church and fell in love with a super soft sweater at Kohl's. I bought it and wore it, ahem.... didn't wear it, before I washed it. (I would not be guilty of wearing new clothing before washing them.) My husband did not accidentally put it through the washer and dryer when it specifically said hand wash and line dry. I was determined to wear it more than once, despite the fact that my forearms go 3 inches past where the sleeves stop. I did not sing the Chris Farley "Fat Guy in a Little Coat" song and laugh hysterically while putting it on.

I do not have 2 little boys who enjoy to get undressed from the bottom down during quiet time.

Last Tuesday I did not have sick children. The 3 older boys were not throwing up while the youngest one had it coming out of the other end. I was holding G over to kitchen sink (full of dirty dishes) while S decided to lose it all over the floor. It stayed in a nice neat pile on the floor and did not splatter over my legs and feet. Baby Z heard the commotion in the kitchen and came to see what he was missing. His eyes immediately spotted the mess on the floor. He did not then proceed to sit smack in the middle of said pile and begin smearing with all his might. What 15-month-old boy would do that? Definitely not mine!

And I do not have a baby who has discovered how to climb up on the couch. But if I did, I would not take the time to document it.