Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This is not a knee-deep pile of clean laundry that has been sitting on our bedroom floor for days and days. This pile is not growing exponentially, as if to scream "fold me already!" In this pile of laundry (that's not mine) is a bunch of nursing bras that I do not still wear. Z hasn't nursed since July so wearing them would indicate that I'm too lazy to pack them away, and surely I am not that lazy.

My husband and his friend are grown men and know right from wrong. That being said, one night after playing laser tag, they did not willingly eat pizza that was leftover at an abandoned table. They were not too cheap to buy their own pizza. My husband does not eat food that is not his, and he does not enjoy eating leftovers. Nope, not him.

Our backyard is not still in the work-in-progress stage. It is not a big uneven mess. And I did not encourage the boys to go see what they could find in the dirt so I could have a few moments of silence.

(In case you're wondering, Z is not like his Mommy and does not go crazy if dirt gets on his feet.)

I did not get my booty kicked in Yahtzee by a 5-year-old boy, two times!

I was in need of more long-sleeved shirts I could wear to church and fell in love with a super soft sweater at Kohl's. I bought it and wore it, ahem.... didn't wear it, before I washed it. (I would not be guilty of wearing new clothing before washing them.) My husband did not accidentally put it through the washer and dryer when it specifically said hand wash and line dry. I was determined to wear it more than once, despite the fact that my forearms go 3 inches past where the sleeves stop. I did not sing the Chris Farley "Fat Guy in a Little Coat" song and laugh hysterically while putting it on.

I do not have 2 little boys who enjoy to get undressed from the bottom down during quiet time.

Last Tuesday I did not have sick children. The 3 older boys were not throwing up while the youngest one had it coming out of the other end. I was holding G over to kitchen sink (full of dirty dishes) while S decided to lose it all over the floor. It stayed in a nice neat pile on the floor and did not splatter over my legs and feet. Baby Z heard the commotion in the kitchen and came to see what he was missing. His eyes immediately spotted the mess on the floor. He did not then proceed to sit smack in the middle of said pile and begin smearing with all his might. What 15-month-old boy would do that? Definitely not mine!

And I do not have a baby who has discovered how to climb up on the couch. But if I did, I would not take the time to document it.